can i just.......

oh my.. i just can't take it.. i feel like i'm carrying the burdens of the earth. i don't know. i'm trying to hide it but i guess it won't take long. and soon they will notice it. as much as possible, i have to keep it on my own.. i tried to be happy and care free but sometimes i just can't avoid to show sadness in my face.. projecting a fake smile.. up to this moment, i'm wearing a mask. i don't want them to feel sorry to me.. coz what they know is that, i am a man of strenght.. i'm a source of happiness . but deep inside, i'm struggling.. i just wanna scream and cry,, but how? i really wanted to be alone.. talking to HIM in a private place.. but i just can't because of so many distractions.. and sometimes,, i prefered not to.. hayyyy... even if He knows me, He knows my desire, my heart, my struggles and everything about me,, i just want Him to know all of these through a conversation.. perhaps i suffered spirituality because i lose Him.. sounds corny but it's true..